During winter I normally get my winter coat and unfortunately my hair gets a bit out of control. Just a bit. Fine! A lot!
It's really bad! That means soon I will be the next victim of the evil dog groomer known as Renza Scissorhands!
The Evil Dog Groomer
The other day I saw how she attacked Snowy. Now he has a really weird haircut. I can only describe it as a reverse mohawk. His back hair is shorter than the rest!
He's not even her doggie and she gives him freaky haircuts without permission. He just sat there! Why? I don't know.
He has his own professional dog groomer at home so he's used to the torture. Mommy called him a 'good boy'. He's a good actor. I'm impressed!
Snowy betrayed me by going home the other day. Now I have no one to yell at. We had something special. I yell, he looks scared. It was...magical. Damn you Snowy!
Fluffy was victim nr.2. You can just give that one something to eat then do whatever to her. I saw she eventually got some sense and hid under the chair.
That means she also has a weird haircut now. Plus now she knows, scissors equals hiding under car or chair. I taught her well.
Fluff is refusing to play with me after she came back from the Vet. I even did my Buffy dance, offered to chase her instead of she chasing me and was willing to get my hair pulled, but it was a no go.
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| Fluffy version -0 |
Guess Dr. Needleman swopped her for a less fun version. I call it Fluffy version -0. This version comes with her own satellite dish! I think it's to prevent her from removing her batteries.
Fluff asked me to help her take the headgear off but after pulling for a while, I concluded that it was probably glued to her head.
Plus mommy caught me and there was some screaming. Hopefully, we'll get the real Fluffy back soon. Anyway...
Renza Scissorhands is vicious! Mommy disappears when she comes out. One of her many personalities!
I'm no. 3 on her hit list. I'm really scared, you guys. Help me!
I wanted to show you last year's hair attack aftermath, but it's really embarrassing. She cuts her own hair too and other human victims have suffered from strings of endless bad hair days. They still get nightmares!
Fine! I'll show you only one before and after. Don't worry! I think I nipped her tiny hands a few times while she shaped me into...the after.
Unfortunately, she knows when I'm bluffing and took her hand and held it in my mouth to prove a point. I yawned to show I surrender. I gave her 'the stare' for a few days to prove my point!
No amount of hair products can undo the mess once you've been attacked by Scissorhands. Get ready to stay inside your house and become unsociable.
No, she does not like going to dog groomers and hairdressers. She believes she must do it herself. I'm promised every day how pretty I'm gonna look once it's over. I'm a boy! I love looking ruff!
She can go make Snowy the backstabber look pretty. He's a parlor dog and poor Fluff and I will forever have bad hair days. Forever!
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| Me and my mop hair in winter a few months ago |
Anyway, I have no doggie advice for you guys today. I'm too busy hiding. Luckily Fluffy v. -0 is keeping her distracted. I was caught a few times and I'm 'half done' that's why you'll see old pics of me on new posts.
I have a side reverse mohawk because I curled up in a ball on my side to protect myself. Maybe you guys can give me some advice this time. It's only fair!
Woof!! Woooooof!!
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Author: Buffy
Job: Guard dog, part-time blogger, Alpha dog, part-time chef
Future plans: Be the cuddliest dog in the whole wide world
Likes: Playing, eating and sleeping
Dislikes: Grooming and food thieves
Pic credit: Pics of Buffy and Fluffy taken by Renza.
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