From being guard dogs to making their humans have one-sided conversations with them. Or are they really one-sided?
Dog mind control secret revealed
Mommy knows exactly what Fluffy and I are saying and we don't even talk. Well, not in human language. Weird right?
Pet owners will get it. The petless will just look at pet owners like they need to be locked up in a straitjacket.
Pet owners aren't crazy you guys. Dogs are just good at mind control.
We've been controlling the human since forever. Why do you think they domesticated us?
Long ago, food was scarce.
Doggies and our cousins the wolves hunted together, but the doggies were really bad at it. We preferred playing with our food.
One day, we came across our very first victim. Uhmm...I mean human.
We stared deep into their eyes and made them love us. They took us into their homes and we've been controlling them ever since.
Don't worry! It's a mutually beneficial arrangement.
They get unconditional love and are pumped full of happy hormones. We get to eat for free, have a nice place to sleep and play as much as we want. Win-win!
Some humans aren't open to the mind control though. We call them people that don't have pets. Petless for short.
We aren't sure why, but they seem to have a mental block that we can't get through. Mommy Renza had a block like that and after years of trying, I finally got through.
She's under my control now. Not sure what happened though. Oh yes! She made the mistake of staring deep into my eyes that one day when I was bitten.
She told me everything was going to be ok. After that, she was a goner then. I'll admit, me too. See! Mutually beneficial.
There's, unfortunately, a problem once we take control of the human. We take on their personality too and feel for them what they feel for us. It's a glitch in our mind control ability and we have not figured out a way around it yet.
Our plan is to control every human on the planet. I did it with mommy so other dogs can do it too. The cats are also helping, but they have their own way of doing things.
We've already taken over the internet and social media. Pets all over are working hard to reach our collective goal of complete human domination.
Petless humans, please don't be scared. We just want everyone to be happy. Soon we will find a way to get through your mental block and you won't be able to resist our mind control.
You might as well give in now. Your fate is sealed. There's a furry friend around every corner watching and waiting until your defenses are down.
See you soon humans
Woof!! Woof!!
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Author: Buffy
Job: Guard dog, part-time blogger
Likes: Playing, eating and sleeping
Dislikes: Grooming and food thieves
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